«hold off, Is it a night out together?» Podcast Episode 102: The Chart | Autostraddle

Recently on «hold off, Is This a Date?» we are joined by Autostraddle CEO and

L Word

expert
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You heard that right! This occurrence is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — starting up with friends’ exes, pals hooking up with your exes, additionally the tradition created by all those things drama.

Come the news, remain for any psychological running. And before that enjoy a game title that exams Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t normally.)

Thanks for all your good comments after our premiere! For those who haven’t but start thinking about giving us a rating or evaluate!


SHOW NOTES

+ 5 years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of all my interests.

+ Here Is
the essay
We reference in which We mention starting up using my roommates.

+ My crush from the week Mj Rodriguez introduced a songs video for her tune
«Something to Say»
!

+ As somebody who has merely viewed a number of attacks of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush with the few days C.C. Babcock ended up being stunning if you ask me when it turned-out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina informs me they basically nevertheless are.)



Drew:

I might end up being extremely good with-it current. I might never add someone else without their own authorization. However the idea of every time someone ended up being like, «make sure you might be connected with me personally,» I’d resemble, «Yeah, this is the existence I’ve stayed. I do not care about.» Usually strange? Is the fact that a problem?


Christina:

No, because if I becamen’t, I would personally feel terrible not-being. I would wind up as, «Wait, I’m not sleeping?»


Theme song performs


Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.


Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.


Drew:

And this is

Wait, Is It A Date?


Christina:


Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the big concerns. Firstly, can it be a date? What are dates? That happen to be dates? Will we like times? These represent the type questions we address on this subject right here very pro and lovely podcast.


Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I am a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.


Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I am additionally an author at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer online. I will be improving at explaining myself as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. That is all of us. That’s just who the audience is.


Drew:

Yeah. Therefore all of our main topic this week may be the Chart.


Christina:

I simply thought it needed a sting. I don’t know. That felt truly dramatic, but I think it required it.


Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thank you so much, thanks. No, no, no. The suitable amount of crisis.


Christina:

Thank you.


Drew:

Yeah. So we’re making reference to lesbian interconnectivity.


Christina:

I enjoy that phrase as it feels like you’ll want to restart the lesbians. It may sound like the internet connection isn’t functioning.


Drew:

Yes. It’s very higher level, very advanced, but in addition has existed since there is lesbians, i believe.


Christina:

Yeah. I do believe students would state when they found the initial lesbian fossils, they discovered a data alongside of these carved in to the sand. And that I think’s just what that film means, right? It’s about the data? That film with Kate Winslet and mud fossils?


Drew:


Ammonite?


Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.


Drew:

If only

Ammonite

was about cavern ladies. I would see that lesbian movie.


Christina:

Well, when I haven’t seen it, i’ll fearlessly claim that it was. Cool.


Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like we many lesbian period pieces, but we’ve never ever eliminated right back that far. And I also think it’s the perfect time we carry out.


Christina:

Let’s just hold taking it further back in its history.


Drew:

Before we get to the main subject, you are nonetheless learning us. And that I believed that it will be enjoyable to tackle a-game where you dudes could truly get to know Christina. So our icebreaker for this few days is just a little online game that I call «Would U-Haul.»


Christina:

I will be, once again, therefore stressed about any of it. This could you should be ways I come to the game. This might be my personal video game mindset, somewhat high-key, just a little stressed. That is ok. All of us are reading.


Drew:

In my opinion which is fantastic. In my opinion that will prompt you to more vulnerable, possibly.


Christina:

Among my favorite thoughts.


Drew:

Merely a horror, simply a severe terror. And so the manner in which «Would U-Haul» really works is I’m going to explain a scenario. Let’s refer to it as Christina lover fiction. And that I’m going to pause after every small part to get want, «Okay, Christina, I know that you have never lived with someone, do not want to accept a partner. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?»


Christina:

And I also will often say yes or we’ll say, «i am prepared.»


Drew:

Unless you — really, we will see here. But i am thrilled. I do believe i have perhaps cracked the code.


Christina:

You have cracked the rule? I’m excited.


Drew:

Why don’t we observe very long this requires. Whenever you never would, In my opinion you winnings? I’m not sure exactly how you will find winners here.


Christina:

I am not sure there are winners in the online game of U-Hauling.


Drew:

Really, I am not sure should you decide’ll agree with that following this. So I’m getting heading.


Christina:

Reasonable adequate.


Drew:

Okay. Thus, Christina.


Christina:

Drew.


Drew:

You are at the friend’s wedding. Despite the great number of romcoms you have consumed, you probably did maybe not head to this marriage thinking you had meet any person because, really, this isn’t a romcom. Here is the real and regular lifetime of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking your assigned seat and therefore are glancing at your telephone once you understand a lady at the dining table is wanting at you. She presents herself as your friend’s former baby sitter. She actually is stayed a friend regarding the family, but she doesn’t really know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and has a striking angular face. You start talking. She offers to allow you to get a drink. So when she gets up, you recognize she actually is six feet high, 6′ 3″ in heels. And that means you know what? I’m only attending hold on there and start to become like, at this point, would U-Haul?


Christina:

I’m intrigued. I am captivated because i may get put during that marriage. But up to now I am not U-Hauling anywhere.


Drew:

Cool. Which is completely reasonable. Totally fair. Okay. Which means you spend whole wedding observing the other person. There’s just an instantaneous spark and instant chemistry. And certainly, you are doing connect plus the sex is actually remarkable.


Christina:

Tight.


Drew:

And this wedding was in Northern California. And that means you both extend the stays for a few days to shag and check out and eat at restaurants and screw. Therefore offer to split the expense of the now combined area, but she laughs you off and it is want, «demonstrably not, honey.» Therefore, the after that three days tend to be miracle. You are feeling the walls tumbling all the way down. You’re falling faster than you actually ever have actually. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Thus just for quality’s sake, i am having a difficult time imagining some sort of for which I got three surprise days off strive to hang out with an individual I do perhaps not understand. That seems bonkers. In case I did, best for me. But I’m not really U-Hauling during this period. It will be a no.


Drew:

Great. Okay. That’s great. You only met. I have it. I have it. Okay.


Christina:

Thank-you plenty.


Drew:

So she comes back to ny therefore come back to Philadelphia.


Christina:

This is where I stay.


Drew:

And you are texting all the time. That is where you are living and it’s really in which this girl resides. And you are texting all the time and also you see one another multiple times monthly. She actually is extremely active together with her job, but she is rapid to buy you a train admission in order to appear see her and remain at her beautiful brownstone in Fort Greene. And then half a year pass. And something night if you are out over supper, she asks that move around in along with her. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

And relocate to Ny? I do not really like nyc. No, I’m not relocating in the six months mark. I’m not doing that, no.


Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, entirely, totally. Wow. Okay. And that means you hold dating long-distance. She realizes that you need some time she’s ready to anticipate you. A few more several months move. Its now been over per year. Your own property owner tells you that they are offering your house to a developer that is putting in condos, so you can’t renew it. You should find a brand new place. Your now gf lets you know that no stress, but the woman offer nevertheless stands. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Okay. At this time, i might U-Haul for a few factors.


Drew:

Yay! Fine. Kindly reveal.


Christina:

Primarily, in a world for which my property manager offered the house in order to develop it, my property owner is now my closest friend, to ensure that seems like one thing moved incorrect inside our relationship. And I also must simply leave Philadelphia in any event. Just in case I have to move in with my gf over here, that appears good. That’s fine. Completely good. But yeah, i do believe i may require an external energy like a mean landlord.


Drew:

That’s very — okay. I did so think that you’ll must require property for truth be told there, so I’m grateful We realized that.


Christina:

Yeah. That’s exactly what has to happen to me personally first.


Drew:

Well, i am pleased to know what it does take. Thus theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t knocked out, just how much more hours?


Christina:

Seriously, might have gone on for quite some time. Philly and nyc commonly even that definately not each other. I got room over here. We’re moving forward and backward. We’re having good times. I possibly could have leave that roll for quite some time until I guess Shoshana turns into the worst person I’m sure.


Drew:

I didn’t know Shoshana possessed your own home. Really, there you choose to go.


Christina:

There we get. Wow, that has been thrilling.


Drew:

Well, many thanks for playing.


Christina:

I’m pressured, to get obvious.


Drew:

And I’m happy that I’m sure… possibly if you are previously, anytime anyone’s ever dating you and wishes you to move around in, perhaps the girlfriend told Shoshana to offer the house for the sake of your connection.


Christina:

Honestly the quickest method — some body would only have to communicate with Shoshana and become like, «only kick the lady out.» And she’d be like, «Yeah, sure. However.» That will be how it took place, whether or not she don’t offer your house. Some body would just be like, «Can you only stop her out very she will just conquer it and move in with me?» And she would state yes. A hundred percent she would do that. That’s what relationship is.


Drew:

I like that.


Christina:

Yeah, which is actually stunning.


Drew:

Well, i’m like we discovered plenty about yourself.


Christina:

Thanks A Lot. I feel like We learned a large amount about myself personally, too. Threat of homelessness is truly the matter that keeps me personally relocating any scenario, i assume. Wow.


Drew:

Well, that’s great.


Christina:

Which was really fascinating. I am equally thrilled to move into all of our major part because I think writing about lesbian connection because of this visitor, using this special visitor, i believe it will likely be remarkable, Drew. How could you be feeling?


Drew:

I’m thus excited. This really is specialized. And also by that, I mean an

L Term

specialist, but additionally some a specialized inside subject at hand.


Christina:

I believe a few things tends to be true, my friend. I think a few things can be real undoubtedly. Can we need introduce all of our guest or do we want our very own guest introducing on their own?


Drew:

I’d love our very own visitor introducing herself.


Christina:

Guest.


Drew:

I will claim that our very own visitor could be the one and only Riese Bernard.


Christina:

Guest, talk.


Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And it’s also strange to be the guest!


Christina:

Yeah, really.


Riese:

I experienced never to state something. I didn’t even exercise. I did state circumstances. I’d to sit down here calmly.


Christina:

And you also happened to be truly courageous. And your confronts had been appreciated.


Riese:

Many thanks such.


Christina:

Though this is exactly certainly a sound medium, I want our audience to know that Riese was actually producing some great effect faces during «Would U-Haul.»


Riese:

There is many ways as heard. Guess what happens i am talking about? That is what I always state. I am the President of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball team. And that’s myself. You will find a dog named Carol. And I also have dated people.


Christina:

Congrats on the kickball!


Riese:

Thank-you. I am a part of folks.


Christina:

Great. Adoring that. That is great to carry to the, this here matchmaking podcast. That is really good.


Riese:

Yeah. I think that… Is there other things?


Drew:

No, I think which is fantastic, Riese.


Christina:

What you may wanna discuss.


Riese:

I like raspberries, the good fresh fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.


Christina:

Compared to…


Riese:

You Are Sure That an individual goes like…


Drew:

It really is like whenever you strike. Yeah.


Christina:

Oh. Those are gross, so I simply just exhausted them from my personal head.


Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.


Christina:

Great.


Drew:

Well, we instantly considered you with this subject.


Christina:

That’s true.


Drew:

Because to begin with, clearly, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian community currently like, I don’t know, making love with people which their friends have experienced sex with since long before

The L Keyword

was actually actually ever a string. But i really do feel

The L Keyword

solidified a certain social notion of the chart with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you might have some understanding of this subject.


Riese:

Its real. A couple of people, I would like to state, of

The L Word

had this genuine chart of those and their buddies these people were attracting on wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, ended up being one among them. She talked to you about it, they had constructed this. Because obviously, everybody where copywriter’s space had fucked people from inside the writer — you are aware, together with extended web of these generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also watched that and they certainly were like, «Let’s place it into the program.» Plus some of those take the information. Like, one particular which … like, genuine men and women are about data as a tale.


Christina:

That is amazing. Which is how you know you’ve made it.


Riese:

Actually that precious?


Christina:

That could be thrilling for me personally.


Riese:

And so when you haven’t seen

The L Term,

to start with, congrats. Second of all, it gets the centerpiece of 1 your head character, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got everything over her wall surface. Looked after may be the name of an internet site . which they started labeled as ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the concept … And it’s when you look at the pilot, I think. Into the first occurrence, Alice begins speaing frankly about exactly how every person’s connected, because every person’s connected using this person. And I also can link you, as if you’re probably only two levels far from myself. And this ended up being genuine. Like, despite Dana, who had limited experience because she was a closeted football member, they however were able to link her. And that is actuality since it is real.


Christina:

Which is tradition. Yeah. That is what society appears like.


Riese:

Which is culture. That’s queer culture right there. And then everyone else helps make unique charts.


Christina:

Yeah. So would definitely end up being my subsequent question, had been have either people made a chart? Because Really don’t believe I have, I am also style of now thinking like, that was this just last year sitting inside my home for basically didn’t generate a chart? Like, that which was the point of that, really?


Riese:

In my opinion I completed it during my log, just like like … Because I like, I’m not sure, organizing info, I guess, as an idea workout.


Christina:

Yeah, I think which is additionally exactly why I am surprised that i’ven’t accomplished it. I love the notion of categorizing things.


Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I don’t know exactly why it’s thus interesting, but it is. It is fascinating to-be like, wow, each one of these folks, they can be linked. It is wild.


Drew:

Regarding show, once ourchart.com is conceived, they will have a real data that folks will add material. And that I feel just like something that you joked when it comes to on

To L and Straight Back,

nowadays men and women state always is similar to, when this existed in a real way, not one person would place their own names about it, no one would feel at ease placing their particular labels on it.


Riese:

You’ll.


Drew:

I would. I would personally be extremely okay with-it existing. I would personally never ever include another person without their permission. Nevertheless notion of love, each and every time some body was like, «Confirm that you are connected with me personally,» I’d be like, «Yeah, it is the existence I lived. I do not care about.» Is that strange? Usually problematic?


Christina:

No, as if I happened to ben’t, I would feel terrible not … I would end up like, «hold off, I am not upon it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?» No, that could in fact send myself into lighting moral anxiety about who Im as you, the things I’m undertaking. Have always been we interesting? Perform men and women {like
www.m4m-hookup.org

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